


One is a Bird (Or technically, a snake)

by mylongestoof



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Death (Good Omens) is nice, Horror Elements, It's an Over the Garden Wall AU, It's going to be a bit spooky, M/M, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Warlock has a frog friend, kind of slow burn, tags will update as the story progesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22194496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylongestoof/pseuds/mylongestoof
Summary: (Ah, yes. An Over the Garden Wall AU for Good Omens. You don't have to know Over the Garden Wall to read this, although it is a wonderful show.)Ezra and Warlock Dowling are brothers who have gotten lost in an unknown wood. With a talking snake by the name of Crowley, they hope to find their way home. On the way, they encounter very strange and mystical things.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Warlock Dowling, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Warlock Dowling
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter One - Into the Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Before we start, feel free to ask questions about this AU. Someone might have done this before, but if they did, I didn't see anything on this. And I know this has a Halloween/Fall vibe to it, but I just got this idea around Christmas time when I re-watched it.

Somewhere lies a place that few have seen. A place that has good and bad, a place called The Unknown. It isn’t known how people get there, or if they can ever really leave. Here, we see two boys. One of blonde hair, and one of brown. Both of cowardice, bravery, and love.

“I don’t like dinosaurs. They’re stupid. They’re like...dumb-osaurs. They’re like dumb-osaurs, Ezra!”

Ezra, the eldest of the two, nodded absentmindedly. Ezra wasn't a brave boy. He was quiet, and a bit of a coward. Most boys his age weren’t like that at all, so he knew he was a bit different.

“Dinosaurs aren’t dumb, Warlock. They’re...they’re educational.” Ezra said, looking around the dark wood. He stopped and tugged at the bottom of his costume. He had dressed up as, well...he hadn’t known what he was dressed up as. Perhaps an old English man? An English professor? He didn’t know, but it was a seemingly old and expensive suit he had found in his attic.

“Wait, Warlock...where are we?”

Warlock looked around the wood, and shrugged, “We were walking home.”

“We’re lost.” Ezra breathed out, “We’re lost in the woods. Oh dear, how will we get home?”

Warlock opened his mouth, but a voice rang out from the shadows.

“Oi, kid, what’re you dressed up a _sss_?” The voice said, hissing out their s’s. 

Ezra looked around frantically, but Warlock quickly found the source of the voice.

A snake hanging from a branch in the trees peered down at them with slit, yellow eyes. Warlock laughed, and pointed up at the snake, “I’m the Anti-Christ!”

“No good, kid. We’ve already have our _sss_.” The snake said.

“You’re a talking snake!” Ezra cried, “Snakes don’t talk. Warlock, get away from it.”

“ _It_ ?” The snake hissed, getting offended, “You’re calling me an it? My pronoun _sss_ are he/him. For now.”

Ezra nodded frantically, “Good for you. Warlock, come on.” He grabbed Warlock’s hand, and the snake sighed.

“I can help you.” The snake said, “I can take you _sss_ omewhere that’ll help you two get home.”

“Snakes are a bad omen.” Ezra said, “I cannot. Come on, Warlock.”

Warlock waved goodbye, and they walked further through the woods, until they saw a faint light. 

Ezra sighed, “Oh good, a light.” They stepped closer, and began to hear deep singing.

“You should watch out.” The snake said, behind him.

Ezra jumped, and pushed Warlock behind him. “Why are you following us, foul fiend?!”

“There are thing _sss_ out here that you should _sss_ tay away from.” The snake said, “Thi _sss_ place i _sss_ n’t normal.”

Ezra turned around, and pushed through the bushes. The snake continued following, but Ezra ignored it. He was fairly sure he was going mad at the moment, and saw it best to pretend that nothing bad was happening.

They stumbled upon the source of the light. A man was chopping up a rather creepy tree that appeared to have a smiling face. Black liquid dripped from the mouth and the eyes, and Warlock gasped in amazement.

“Like that, angel.” The snake said, slithering up the tree nearest to them.

Ezra was too entranced by the terrible sight before him to notice the pet name given by the snake. The man chopping down the tree stalked away, and Ezra frowned.

“Do you think I should have talked to him, Warlock?”

Warlock shrugged, and suddenly, the man was in front of them.

“What are you doing here?!” The man yelled, in a deep Scottish accent. They both jumped, and the snake slid out of the tree, hissing, “I’m leaving.”

“We’re trying to find our way home!” Ezra yelled in surprise and fear, “We got lost, and...we don’t know where we are.”

The man turned around, and looked around the woods.

“You’re lucky I found you.” The man said, “Oth’wise the Beast would have found you.” He looked down at Warlock, and frowned, “Follow me.”

Ezra nodded, and Warlock rolled his eyes. They followed the strange man with the strange lantern through the forest. Beyond the light, a pair of yellow, slanted eyes watched them and slithered away, in a different direction.


	2. Chapter Two - The Old Mill/You have Beautiful Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Warlock take shelter in an old mill.

The man, whose name was Shadwell, had led them to his mill in the woods. Ezra and Warlock hadn’t spoken a word to him, in fear for what he could do. Men like Shadwell scared Ezra. For whatever reason why could be speculated, but it was fairly easy to guess.

“We’re here.” Shadwell said, pushing them into the living room of the house connected to the mill. It was dark and dusty, so Ezra could hardly see a thing. He held Warlock’s hand, even when Warlock was picking his candy up from the floor.

Shadwell lit the fireplace, and tended to it silently. Ezra took this opportunity to speak to Warlock about what to do now that they could see, (and by default, think) better.

“What should we do?” Ezra asked, “We could run away. Maybe knock him out.”

Warlock perked up, “Knock him out?!” It sounded like a great idea to the young boy.

Ezra paled, and shook his head, “Bad idea. We aren’t doing that. We don’t know this man, Warlock. We should be careful. We could leave.”

Shadwell huffed, and turned to face them, “Leave if you wish. The Beast is out there, so I’d stay put.” He grabbed the lantern he had been carrying, and lugged his sticks over to the door leading to the mill, “But I’ll do what I can to help you get home, if you are here when I return.”

He closed the door behind him, and Ezra sighed, “You know, maybe we should stay here. After all, he’s helping us get home. Ugh, I just don’t know, Warlock.”

Ezra sat on the couch and watched Warlock look through the fire wood that was set aside. He sighed again, and laid back, looking up at the ceiling, “ _ I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. _ ” Ezra looked over to Warlock again, and continued quoting, “ _ It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. _ ” 

“Okay, brother.” Warlock said, swinging a fire log, before moving onto something that sat on the shelf. Even Ezra didn’t know the proper name for it, but it was made out of porcelain. 

Ezra sat up, curious as to why Warlock would be swinging porcelain about, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find something that will knock out Mr. Shadwell. Like you said.”

Ezra sighed once more, “No, Warlock. We aren’t going to knock him out.” He stood up, and nearly tripped over a piece of candy, “Warlock, there’s a hole in your pocket! The candy is falling out!”

Warlock set the porcelain down, and picked the candy up. He looked around the room, and sighed, “I’m going to pick up my candy. You stay here, brother. I’ll be right back.”

Ezra watched as Warlock left, and sat down again. That day had been really stressful, and he just needed a bit of a break. He closed his eyes, and tried to fall asleep.

Outside, Warlock picked up his candy. He followed a trail of his fallen sweets, and pocketed them once more, in a better pocket. A pocket without holes. A low growl from the bushes, and Warlock stood still suddenly.

“Sounds like our dog.” Warlock said, referring to his and Ezra’s dog. It was a good dog, and Warlock cared for him very much, even if Ezra did not. Ezra wasn't much of a dog person. He was more of a book person, if such a thing existed (it did).

Warlock walked to the edge of the woods, and stood there, waiting for another growl. When it did not come, Warlock shrugged, and continued the search for the forgotten treats.

After a minute or so of intense searching, a window from the mill caught Warlock’s attention. He wanted to see what Shadwell was doing inside the mill, so he crawled onto a barrel, and looked through it.

Shadwell was pushing sticks into a large grater. On the other side of the large machine, black oil came from a tap. Warlock quickly made the connection that the tree made the oil, and that he used it to light his lamp. Why the lamp needed to be lit wasn't a question that Warlock saw fit to wrestle with.

Warlock turned around to pick up more candy, but fell into the barrel, wherein he found a large, green frog.

“Hello!” Warlock said, “Who are you? You seem nice.”

The frog croaked.

Warlock laughed, and pulled it close to his chest, “I think I’m going to keep you. Hmm...what should I call you?”

Another growl was heard. This time, closer. A snarl, and a sniff, then some dark hair poked up from the barrel. Large, colorful eyes peeked into the barrel, and Warlock nearly soiled his pants.

“You have beautiful eyes!” Warlock shouted.

Ezra heard a crash from outside, and stood up immediately. Could his brother be in danger? Shadwell came running into the room, and stared at Ezra with an angered face, “Where is your brother?!”

“Out-Outside!” Ezra said, full of fear. He didn’t like it when people yelled at him. Right at that moment, Warlock opened the door. He held a frog, and had pieces of wood stuck in his hair. Ezra gasped, and the fire blew out due to the wind. Warlock mumbled, “The Beast is here,” before falling to the ground.

Ezra tried to run to him, but a large creature with large eyes crawled into the room. Shadwell grabbed an ax, and stood in front of Ezra, “Watch out, boy, I will s-”

Warlock threw a fire log at Shadwell’s head from the stairs. Ezra didn’t know how he got up there so quick after he had just seemingly passed out, but he didn’t care. They had bigger problems. Shadwell slumped to the ground, and effectively passed out.

“Warlock?!” Ezra yelled, “What did you do?!”

“I knocked him out!” Warlock yelled back, “Just like we said we’d do!”

Ezra put his hands on his face, and groaned, “We said we  _ wouldn’t  _ do that!”

They had forgotten about the Beast. A soft growl pulled their attention from the argument. 

The Beast then scrambled towards Ezra, and he grabbed a fireplace screen to protect himself. Warlock grabbed the ax, and Ezra thought he was going to swing while the Beast was focused on the other, but he didn’t. At least, he didn’t swing on the right side. He hit him with the wood end of the ax, so he wouldn’t hurt him, and smiled nervously at the Beast when it turned its head. Ezra then swung the screen onto it’s head, and took the ax from Warlock.

“You shouldn’t have this.” Ezra said, holding it in his hand, “You’re far too young to use an ax any-”

The Beast stood back up, and Ezra gasped, before running towards the side door that lead to the mill, screaming, “Run, run, run, run, run!”

Warlock threw his candy at the Beast, before grabbing his frog and repeating, “Run, run, run, run, run.”

Warlock caught up to Ezra right before he climbed onto a platform of wood that was high enough off the ground that Warlock needed help to climb. Ezra pulled his brother up, and they backed against the wall.

The Beast crashed into the room, and pushed the platform up, trying to bite at the two boys. Ezra watched in horror, trying to push it away with an abandoned table (why would Shadwell have an abandoned table), while Warlock looked for a way out.

“Over there.” Warlock said, pulling Ezra’s coat and pointing towards a case of stairs. Ezra nodded, and they took off running. It took a second before the Beast noticed, but by the time it did, they were already shimmying across thin planks on the wall to reach a higher part of the machine.

Luckily, that higher part had access to a latch in the roof. Ezra and Warlock were running for it, but the Beast caught them right before they could reach it.

“Oh dear…” Ezra mumbled, nearly about to cry, as he pulled Warlock back. Warlock reached into the pocket without the hole, and threw the candy onto the ground.

The Beast lapped it up with its long tongue, and it gave them both enough time to climb up to the roof. It pursued them even more, tearing a hole through the roof to get them. Ezra was worried about the property damage for a second, before he realized that they needed to be worried more about their lives.

“Throw more of your candy, Warlock!” Ezra insisted. Warlock reached into his pocket, but there was no sweets to speak of. They both looked at each other, then behind to see the water wheel as a means of escape. Not the water wheel, though, but the river where the water was pulled from.

“Jump, Warlock!” Ezra yelled. Warlock hastily nodded, before jumping into the river. Ezra quickly followed, and they both plunged into the water, safe and sound.

When Ezra emerged, he saw the Beast fall into the water wheel, and get nearly crushed before something flew out of its mouth. It shrunk in size, and fell into the water. Ezra swam to shore, and looked for Warlock. He came out on the back of a dog, and smiled widely as he did so.

“He was just mean because he had that turtle in his throat.” Warlock said, before the dog shook him off in order to shake the water off of it’s fur.

“Well…” Ezra said, turning around to see the broken state of the mill, “At least we defeated the Beast.”

“You did not!” Shadwell cried, as he emerged from the house, “This is  _ not  _ the Beast! You have destroyed my mill, and my home!”

Ezra blushed in shame, and Warlock frowned, “I’m sorry.”

Shadwell’s angry gaze softened, and he sighed, “It’s alright. Actually, it is not, but...I will give you directions to go home.”

They both nodded silently, and Shadwell pointed towards a path leading out of the woods, “If you follow that path, you’ll reach a town. Someone there will help you. Just...leave me be.”

Ezra grabbed Warlock’s hand, and turned to look at Shadwell, “We’re sorry for your mill. We didn’t mean to.”

Shadwell nodded, “You just take care of your brother. And you, boy,” He pointed to Warlock, “Give that frog a name.”

Warlock smiled, and they began their trek. Since they were on a path now, they would be fine. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shadwell isn't a Sargent in this, but he is a woodsman. I wonder what he's carrying in that lantern. Well, it's best not to speculate. The quote Ezra quotes is from Pride and Prejudice.


	3. Chapter Three - Pottsfield CM/Patient is the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Warlock find two things. A snake and Pottsfield.

The trail that Shadwell advised them to take was a very long one. They had walked all through the night, and it turned into morning, but they still hadn’t found any town or house they could turn to for help. Both Ezra and Warlock were very tired, and they wanted to rest. But Warlock wouldn’t let them stop.

“I don’t know what I want to name him.” Warlock said, for the thousandth time, “Nothing seems to fit him right.”

Ezra nodded absentmindedly, and said, “Then just try names and see if they fit.” That was a bad mistake on Ezra’s part.

“Okay. Hmm, Frogger? No. Edward Hopper? No, that’s dumb. Ben? Ew, that’s _too_ simple! Jefferson? Jimmy-John? Jasper? Those all sound stupid!”

Ezra wished he had headphones, or _something_ to block out the noise.

Warlock gasped, “Ezra, I got it!” He shoved the frog into Ezra’s face, and smiled widely, “His name will be Ezra!”

“But,” Ezra said, “But that’s my name.”

“I’m going to call you Frog, then.” Warlock smirked, and pulled Ezra (the frog) away from his face, “Hey, Frog! When are we going to find a town?”’

Ezra (the human) walked ahead a bit, and shrugged, “I don’t know. I’ll find it...probably…”

Warlock walked behind Ezra (the human) and bopped Ezra (the frog) around, pretending that he was an airplane, or a frog with superior strength and will.

“ _Psssssst,_ ” A voice hissed from the bushes, “Oi, kid, could ya help me out? I’m a bit _sss_ tuck…”

Warlock looked around the forest and saw a small black and slightly red tail poke out from a bush. Warlock set Ezra (the frog) down, and pushed the leaves away from the bush to reveal the snake from earlier. He was twisting and turning, but the branches had got him, and there was no way for him to get out.

“You’re the snake from earlier!” Warlock said, “And you’re stuck in a bush! Wow, sucks to suck, doesn’t it?”

The snake narrowed his eyes, “Ye _sss,_ I _sss_ uppo _sss_ e it doe _sss_.”

Warlock chuckled, “Why are you sticking your tongue out with every s?” 

“I’m a _sss_ nake, kid.” The snake said, “Ju _sss_ t get me out, plea _sss_ e.” 

Warlock hummed, “Oh, I don’t know. What do I get out of it?”

“Arg! Ju _sss_ t get me out, and I’ll do _sss_ omething for you.”

“A wish!” Warlock yelled, “Perfect. I’ll help you!” Warlock carefully picked up the snake, and held him in his hands, “I wish for infinite wishes!”

The snake groaned, “I’m not a genie, boy. I am a _sss_ nake. I can do normal things, not perform magic!”

“Warlock?” Ezra (the human) yelled, “I found a signpost! It says that a town called Pottsfield is one mile away!”

Warlock smiled, “And I found a snake. He’s going to make my dreams come true!”

Ezra (the human) walked over to Warlock, and gasped when he saw the snake in his hands, “Warlock, put him down!”

Warlock set the snake down, and grabbed Ezra (the frog), “Are you going to eat my frog?”

The snake gagged, “Gro _ssss_ , I don’t eat frog _sss_ ! Hey, you two are lo _sss_ t boy _sss_ who have no purpo _sss_ e in life?”

Warlock nodded, while Ezra (the human) shook his head. The snake took it as a yes.

“Perfect. I’ll take you two to Beezlebub of the Pa _sss_ ture. The good person of the woods! They’ll help you get home!”

“Beezlebub?” Ezra (the human) asked, “Isn’t that a Duke of Hell? How can they be trustworthy?”

“Uh, that' _sss_ the point of their name. It' _sss_ _sss_ uppo _sss_ ed to _sss_ eem evil, even though it i _sss_ n’t.”

“We don’t want your help.” Ezra (the human) said, “Besides, we’re heading to Pottsfield to get home, so we won’t have any need for Beezlebub.” He grabbed Warlock’s hand, and they walked towards Pottfield.

But the snake followed. Ezra (the human) tried to ignore him, but it was hard when he could feel his golden eyes on the back of his head.

“What’s your name?” Warlock asked the snake.

“Anthony Crowley.” The snake answered, “But you will call me Crowley.”

Warlock smiled, and bounced his frog in his arms, “Perfect! Your name will be Anthony! Ezra, you have your name back. You’re not Frog anymore!”

Ezra stopped and turned to face Crowley, “Why are you following us? Can’t you just...slither away or something?”

Crowley sighed, and stopped slithering, “I wish I could, but I can’t. It’ _sss_ , uh, the _sss_ nake rules. I’m honor bound to help you.”

Ezra sighed, and picked Crowley up, “Fine, you can come with us until you find something to so. Isn’t that exciting?”

Crowley looked at Warlock, then back at Ezra, and nodded, “Yeah, a bit.”

Ezra rolled his eyes, and they continued their one mile venture to Pottsfield, where they were sure there would be someone there to help them.

“I don’t know what snakes eat.” Warlock said, “But, if I had to guess, and that _is_ what I’m doing right now, I’d guess...waffles?”

Crowley hissed, before shaking his head, “No, I don’t eat waffle _sss_ . I do eat...rat _sss_ though.”

Warlock gasped, “Rats?! That’s insane! Do they taste weird? Are they alive when you eat them?”

“Warlock, that’s disgusting.” Ezra said, “But...how do you eat rats, though?”

Crowley shrugged, which looked rather strange since he was a snake, “Venom, angel. I u _sss_ e my venom to kill the rat, then I _sss_ wallow the rat.”

Ezra glanced down at the snake, “Angel? You called me that in the woods, didn’t you? Why?”

Crowley narrowed his eyes, “I know how to _sss_ pot an angel when I see one.”

“But I’m not an angel.” Ezra said, “I’m a human. _We_ are human. Right, Warlock?”

Warlock looked up and shrugged, “I don’t know what you are.” Warlock pointed to himself, “I’m the Anti-Christ, though.”

Ezra sighed, “Okay, not for Halloween, Warlock. We are human in real life. Also, I dressed up as a-”

“An angel!” Crowley yelled, “You dressed up as an angel! You’re right, you are humans!”

Ezra groaned, and closed his eyes in frustration. He then stepped into a pumpkin, and his shoes were covered in pumpkin guts. Ezra pulled it out, and frowned, “Wow, this is great, isn’t it?” They were out of the forest, and now in the pumpkin fields.

“Ah!” Warlock yelled. Ezra turned to him, fully expecting him to be in trouble, but he wasn't. His foot was stuck in a pumpkin, and he looked overjoyed.

“I stepped in a pumpkin!” Warlock yelled, “It fits my costume, Ezra! I’m the Anti-Christ, a pumpkin smasher!”

Crowley chuckled, and slithered up his arm, “Ye _sss_ , Little Anti-Chri _sss_ t. Wonderful costume!”

They continued to walk like that. Warlock would say something absolutely ridiculous that Ezra couldn’t understand, and Crowley would roll with it. It made Warlock happier than Ezra had ever seen him before, and in turn, that made Ezra happier.

That was interrupted, though, when they saw Pottsfield. Ezra grabbed Warlock’s hand, and pulled him into the town, leaving Crowley to hold tightly on his coat collar.

They ran into town, and looked around. Ezra’s smile dropped, and Warlock lifted his hand up to Ezra’s shoulder, so Crowley could slither onto his shoulders.

“It’ _sss_ a gho _sss_ t town, angel.” Crowley hissed, “We should ju _sss_ t...go to Beezlebub’ _sss_ , right?”

Ezra shook his head, “Sorry, Crowley. Not right now.” They paused, and looked around. There were people singing, somewhere. Ezra could barely make out what they were saying, and it was bothering him.

But he could make out _where_ they were singing. The voices came from a large barn, and Ezra knew that Crowley was wrong. This wasn't a ghost town.

“Come on, Warlock.” Ezra said, grabbing his hand again. Warlock didn’t like it when Ezra dragged him along, so he pulled his hand out of his brother’s and walked to the barn.

Ezra watched as Warlock marched ahead of him, and frowned sadly.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Crowley looked up at him, “You don’t? You _sss_ eem _sss_ o _sss_ ure.”

“In what?” Ezra laughed, “I’m soft, and I don’t know how to take care of Warlock.”

“I _sss_ n’t he your brother?” Crowley asked, “You're not the one to take care of him. The parent _sss_ are.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Ezra said, walking slowly behind Warlock as he paved through the town, “Our parents aren’t that good though. They’re rich and famous, since they work in the Government. Well, our father works in Government. I’m not sure what our mother does.”

“Do you love them?” Crowley asked.

Ezra laughed, “Of course I do. Don’t you love your parents?”

“I only have one.” Crowley said, “Lot _sss_ of _sss_ ibling _sss,_ though. Never had to take care of them. They were all dick _sss_.”

Ezra chuckled, “Somehow, that’s worse.”

Warlock stood at the edge of the barn, and opened the door a bit, before gasping, “Ezra, look inside!”

Ezra stepped forward, and opened the door fully. Through the door, he saw pumpkin people. Crowley whistled, and stuck his tongue out to smell the area.

“It’s like Thanksgiving!” Warlock yelled, running into the barn. Ezra groaned, and Crowley narrowed his eyes at the pumpkin people.

“What’ _sss_ a Thank _sss_ giving?”

“It’s an American Holiday. We’ve had to celebrate it with our father’s relatives back in America. I don’t like it that much, and Warlock only likes it because food is served.” Ezra walked into the barn, and decided it would be best to ask one of the people here for a telephone.

Ezra walked over to the sidelines of the party, and watched as Warlock danced with the other pumpkin people, bragging about his pumpkin shoe. Ezra smiled, and bumped into a pumpkin woman.

“Oh dear!” She cried, “Aren’t you a little...early to join us?”

“I don’t know.” Ezra asked, “What’s going on here? Is this a party?”

The woman nodded, “Of course. It’s to celebrate the harvest. We don our pumpkins and dance.”

“Costumes.” Ezra said, “Of course, that makes sense. Do you have a telephone I could use?”

“Why use a telephone when you can stay here, boy?” The woman asked.

“What?” Ezra asked, “Uh, we aren’t going to stay here. We just need to get a phone to get out of Pottsfield.”

“Eh,” An old pumpkin man asked, bringing up a cornucopia to his ears, “Did someone say ‘leave Pottsfield’?” 

That wasn't what Ezra said, but it caused everyone to look towards him with very offended and creepy faces. Crowley shook slightly, before he slithered down Ezra’s leg, saying, “I’m out of here.”

The pumpkin people crowded Ezra, and pushed him to the center of the room with Warlock.

“Where’s Crowley?” Warlock asked, “He left his little brother, Anthony here.”

“We found another one, Enoch.” A pumpkin man said, holding Crowley up into the air. He slithered around, trying to escape his clutch. The man grasped him tighter, and he squealed.

“Don’t hurt him!” Ezra yelled.

“I won’t.” Enoch said. The pumpkin man set Crowley on Warlock’s head, and he slithered around his neck like a scarf, just sitting there and watching. Or, perhaps, protecting.

“It wasn't his time to go, anyway. It’s nice to see you again, Crowley. Aziraphale.”

“Aziraphale?” Ezra asked, “Who’s that?”

Enoch glared down at them, then a black cloud filled the room. Warlock knelt down, while Ezra coughed and tried to wave it away from his face. When the clouds finally settled, all that was left of Enoch was a black cloak that sheltered something unknown.

“You’re not Enoch.” Crowley said, “You’re-”

“Death.” Death said, “As I’ve said, it’s nice to see you two again.”

“There’s two more!” Warlock said, “Anthony and Warlock!”

Death looked at them, and he smiled, though they could not see, “Of course. But I have not met you before.” Death looked over to Ezra, and smiled, “You don’t know much about here; the Unknown.”

“What should we do with them?” The pumpkin people cried, wanting justice.

Death looked at the four of them, “Let’s see...you come into our town, smashing our crops and interfering with our private engagement. I wonder, what should you punishment be?”

“Let u _sss_ go!” Crowley demanded, “Under the circum _sss_ tance, we haven’t done much wrong.”

“This isn’t some backwards family that will let you do just as you please, Crowley.” Death said.

Crowley frowned, and Death waved his hands up, ready to give his command, “Your punishment will be…”

Ezra bit his fingernails in worry while Death took a breath he didn’t need.

“A few hours of community service. Then, you four will be free to go.”

Warlock chuckled, “I thought it would be worse than that. Like, death, or something.”

“I am Death, child.” Death said, “I do not punish those with myself. Their time comes naturally.”

Warlock shrugged, “I’m too young to know about my own mortality, so that’s okay, I guess.” Meanwhile, Crowley and Ezra were scarred for life.

“So, we’ll just make sure you won’t run away, and then you’ll do yard work for a couple of hours. I’m sure you can all handle it.”

Ezra nodded, “We can, sir.”

“Good.”

They worked for a couple of hours. A few funny instances with a couple of turkeys later, and they were digging holes in a field, ready to plant some seeds. Ezra had a hole that he dug with Crowley, and Warlock shared his hole with Anthony the frog.

“Thi _sss_ i _sss_ weird.” Crowley hissed, setting his tiny shovel down, “It i _sss_ n’t right.”

“Yes, they are a bit weird. They got my name wrong, too, but...I don’t know, Crowley. I think we should stay here. After all, if our parents haven’t gotten to us yet, then they don’t really care, do they?”

Crowley shook his head, “That’ _sss_ not how they work, Ezra. They are confu _sss_ ing, but they care, _sss_ ometime _sss._ ”

Ezra threw a pile of dirt out of the hole and onto the pile next to it, “Is that how your parent was?”

“She wa _sss_ .” Crowley said, “She loved me, but... _sss_ ometime _sss_ you have to punish your children.”

“This isn’t punishment.” Ezra said, “We’ve done nothing wrong. And you probably did nothing wrong.”

Crowley nodded, and gasped, “What...what if they’re making you dig your grave _sss_?!”

“That’s impossible.” Ezra said, smiling, “Never took you as a skeptic, Crow-”

“I found treasure!” Warlock yelled, waving Anthony in the air.

“See, that’s why we were digging. What did you find, Warlock?”

“Human bones!”

Ezra dropped his shovel, and turned to Crowley, “You were right! How do we get out?”

Crowley slithered out of his cuffs, and grabbed a shovel, “I’ll break you two out. Ju _sss_ t... _sss_ tall!” 

Ezra nodded, and jumped as he heard the trumpets of the people of Pottsfield. It was supposed to be the last music Ezra would ever hear. It wasn't even that good!

Crowley slithered over to Warlock’s grave, and began to break him out.

“Have you done the task?” Death asked, back in his Enoch form.

Ezra nodded, “Well, yes, but…” Ezra looked over to Warlock, and clenched his fists. He was going to have to stall very good!

“There were rocks!” Ezra said, “And-and, you don’t like rocks, do you?”

“I suppose not.” A woman said.

“So, I got…” Ezra looked over at the right moment to see Warlock and Crowley escaping, without him.

“They left me.” He whispered.

“What happened with the rocks?” The crowd demanded.

“Uh, they, uh…”

Behind him, some rather cheerful clacking began to sound. The crowd of pumpkin people smiled and began to crowd around the clacking, behind Ezra. Ezra was suddenly pushed out of the way by a skeleton.

“You’re alive!” He shouted, moving out of his way.

“Not really.” The skeleton said, “I’m dead. Help me up, guys!”

“Greg!” The villagers shouted, “You’re finally here, ol’ chap!”

All of the villagers danced with Greg and the other skeleton, leaving Ezra momentarily forgotten.

A hiss came from the space behind him. Ezra turned around, and saw Crowley, alone.

“You left me.” Ezra said, deeply offended.

“I didn’t.” Crowley said, “Look down.”

Ezra looked down, and saw his chain broken. He could climb out of the hole and leave.

“You’re leaving.” Death said, still in his Enoch form, “Are you sure you two don’t want to stay?”

Ezra shook his head, “No thank you. We’ll find our way home somewhere else.”

Death shrugged, “You’ll be back. They all come back.”

Ezra shivered, and climbed out of his hole. He picked Crowley up, and they ran. They ran fast, and they got into the forest quickly. Warlock was playing with Anthony as if nothing was happening, so he was fine.

“Are we safe? Did they follow us?” Ezra cried.

Crowley shook his snake head, “Nah, angel they didn’t follow u _sss_ . We’re _sss_ afe.”

“That’s good then.” Ezra said, taking a deep breath, “Does that mean that you are free to go?”

Crowley shook his head, “You weren’t in actual danger with tho _sss_ e clown _sss._ I’m _sss_ till here. Do you want to go to Beezlebub’ _sss_ now?”

Ezra nodded, “We have nowhere else to go, so...why not. Come on, Warlock.”

“I think I’m going to name the frog Enoch, now.” Warlock said, standing up and putting Enoch on his head, “So, let’s get gone!” 

Ezra chuckled, and they all walked through the forest, ready to get to Beezlebub’s, and ready to go back home. Ezra laughed at the last moment. Crowley was right, after all. Pottsfield technically was a ghost town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting one last chapter for the weekend. I'll continue it on Monday. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. I may answer them, unless the answer is a spoiler.


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